Saturday, October 20, 2012

Going To A Nude Beach Made Me Feel A Little Better About Life:

My therapist diagnosed me with mixed anxiety-depressive disorder. Honestly, I am not even sure what this means other than that it feels like there is this giant, black balloon that is always sort of hovering around. Sometimes the balloon gets huge and it covers the whole sky, disconnecting me from the things that matter most. Lately, it was my husband. It was like I couldn’t see him as a separate person anymore. Like he was a part of me. And it was hard to feel tender toward either of us. Internally things felt sharp, like my mind was gripped by tiny teeth.

Jumping in the ocean naked with a lot of strangers wouldn’t fix anything, but it seemed like it might make me feel better momentarily. Like a baptism. But with nudity.